Chills

Questions I must consider--

If I drop from Arrowhead,
--will they not let me back in in the future years even if I'm prepared?
--will I show up as something worse than a DNF on the roster: a no-show?
--will I lose a great opportunity to do something like this at a young age?

What thrills me is being 20 and being accepted into Arrowhead, since I've been amazed by the idea for a while. But maybe, since everyone around me is saying this isn't my battle, this isn't my battle.

I want to do something that will make people proud of me.
I want to do something that will make me feel like I did something not everyone could do.

I'm still 20 for 4 more months.

I'm having trouble dealing with the fact that I'm turning into an adult.

This is hard.